Unfucking as Many Things as Possible

This is all about my recovery from chronic disorganization/hoarding.

Still unfucked!

Who has two thumbs and just did their first 20/10? This greyface, that’s who. In 20 minutes, I tidied up the kitchen (put away the dishes in the dishwasher, put the dirty ones from breakfast in there, wiped down the counters and stove), pulled the sheets off my bed and remade it with brand new sheets I just bought, and scooped the litter boxes.

And that’s pretty much everything that needed to be done today. I still have some laundry to work through, so I’ll be doing that today.

It’s been two weeks since this happened, and it feels like I’m living a whole new life. Every single day since then, I have made my bed, scooped litter boxes, and generally tidied up before bed. I’ve had carpet cleaners in to undo some of the damage I did, and I’ve hired a cleaning service to come in every two weeks—to force me to keep clutter down, and to help me with the stuff I can’t quite do.

The first week was really hard. During my time in my mess, I’d lost a lot of body strength, to the point that standing upright for periods longer than a couple of minutes made me tired. That first week, I was tired pretty much all the time, and my stomach and back muscles ached. I couldn’t have done an entire 20 minutes of cleaning.

I’m cooking again, and I didn’t realize just how much I missed it. So that means I’m eating better again too. No more living on microwaved crap and take out.

Even my pets seem happier (well, not the cats at first—they were cranky about the changes). They have more room to play, and they’re taking advantage of it.

The biggest change is that most of my anxiety is gone. I was at a point where every time I heard anyone moving outside my apartment door, I was convinced they were going to come in and find out about my mess. I didn’t want to leave the apartment at times, because I was afraid there would be some sort of maintenance emergency while I was out, and they would come in. I worried about a thousand different reasons I might have to let someone into the place. Since the clean-out, I have never had a moment of worry about someone coming in. I don’t even notice my neighbors thumping on the stairs anymore—which used to make my heart race with anxiety.

It sounds cheesy as hell to say it, but everybody on Team UFYH, y’all have helped change my life.

  1. aclearpagestarts reblogged this from unfuckyourhabitat